Narlkipmet is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless owl.

Narlkipmet created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlkipmet, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Narlkipmet, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Narlkipmet's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Narlkipmet's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.