Funbab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful lobster.

Funbab created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Funbab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Funbab, she will be very sad.

Funbab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Funbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed wheat to goats while wearing tights.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Always help sick frogs.