Nelyokkik is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish spider.

Nelyokkik created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelyokkik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nelyokkik, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nelyokkik's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nelyokkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Retreat if eight capybaras approach from the west.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing indigo shirts and balancing three silver spheres on your back.

5. Do not chop down trees.