Hotmoning is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane scorpion.

Hotmoning created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hotmoning, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hotmoning, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hotmoning's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hotmoning's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never wear yellow tights.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hotmoning on top of all buildings.