Wittettilarn is a god.

She takes the form of a small, egotistical alligator.

Wittettilarn created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wittettilarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wittettilarn, she will destroy your home planet.

Wittettilarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Wittettilarn's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six voles approach from the west.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to grasshopers while wearing violet hats.

5. Always pray immersed in water.