Tettigoffas is a god.
It takes the form of a rotund, moody
wasp.
Tettigoffas created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tettigoffas, it will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Tettigoffas, it will boil you in a big pot.
Tettigoffas' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.
Tettigoffas' Holy Commandments1. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.
2. Do not listen to music.
3. Never talk about dark energy near monkeys while wearing purple shorts.
4. Never think about chlorophyll.
5. Never paint your legs red.