Litbagrowpin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful cow.

Litbagrowpin created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litbagrowpin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Litbagrowpin, he will turn you into a rat.

Litbagrowpin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Litbagrowpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near snakes while wearing gray coats and balancing seven silicon spheres on your feet.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near swans while wearing blue shirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your arms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Litbagrowpin.

5. Litbagrowpin loves doves, so they must be honoured.