Armwonnartfar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, flying crab.

Armwonnartfar created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armwonnartfar, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Armwonnartfar, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Armwonnartfar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Armwonnartfar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three otters approach from the west.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing gray trousers.

5. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.