Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair wombat.

Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Zanyarpqueeg Vincebneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed spinach to mites while wearing tights.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.