Tabgen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, boastful owl.

Tabgen created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tabgen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabgen, she will turn you into a tree.

Tabgen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three moths in a large pit.

2. Worship no other gods but Tabgen.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.