Japparkcep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, proud gorilla.

Japparkcep created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japparkcep, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Japparkcep, he will destroy your favourite star.

Japparkcep's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Japparkcep's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Japparkcep.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Japparkcep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear tights.