Hakratnig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental dog.

Hakratnig created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakratnig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hakratnig, he will turn you into a rat.

Hakratnig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hakratnig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four gulls approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about optics near tapirs while wearing red rings and balancing seven tin spheres on your legs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.