Lamflisapp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unselfish jackal.

Lamflisapp created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamflisapp, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lamflisapp, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lamflisapp's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lamflisapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Hide from yellow sharks for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never pour water over plants.