Vonkfemhimdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able duck.

Vonkfemhimdiss created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfemhimdiss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vonkfemhimdiss, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vonkfemhimdiss' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vonkfemhimdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Run away from green eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about gravity near nematodes while wearing indigo shirts and balancing six nickel spheres on your face.

5. Never wear fawn kilts.