Pibsafcub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing pig.

Pibsafcub created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibsafcub, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pibsafcub, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pibsafcub's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pibsafcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pibsafcub.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt doves.