Tailfonfitfed is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast raccoon.

Tailfonfitfed created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Tailfonfitfed, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailfonfitfed, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tailfonfitfed's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tailfonfitfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of wheat to capybaras while wearing blue shoes.

2. Never think ill of sick ducks.

3. Never sing in winter.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.