Targnakhab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish grasshopper.

Targnakhab created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targnakhab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Targnakhab, it will turn you into a goat.

Targnakhab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Targnakhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never record signs.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed pineapples to squirrels while wearing tights.

5. Always take life seriously.