Cadtarpfatvoglibpig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fussy scorpion.

Cadtarpfatvoglibpig created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadtarpfatvoglibpig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cadtarpfatvoglibpig, he will not care at all.

Cadtarpfatvoglibpig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cadtarpfatvoglibpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing yellow rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your legs.

3. Worship no other gods but Cadtarpfatvoglibpig.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not kill snakes.