Gunbedfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, thoughtless guinea pig.

Gunbedfeb created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbedfeb, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gunbedfeb, it will not care at all.

Gunbedfeb's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gunbedfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gunbedfeb.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.