Yararppin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair clam.

Yararppin created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yararppin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yararppin, she will ignore you.

Yararppin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yararppin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yararppin's priests.

2. Never speak at dawn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yararppin.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Do not kill gulls.