Flynelpog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking lizard.

Flynelpog created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flynelpog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flynelpog, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Flynelpog's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Flynelpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare onions while wearing jumpers.

2. Never cross rivers at midnight.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

5. Pray towards the south.