Witrigkar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy lion.

Witrigkar created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Witrigkar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Witrigkar, he will turn you into a slug.

Witrigkar's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Witrigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witrigkar.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

5. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.