Zagtimsas is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, conceited gorilla.

Zagtimsas created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtimsas, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zagtimsas, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zagtimsas' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zagtimsas' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Zagtimsas in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Never paint your chest cyan.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention snakes.