Affumgab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful ant.

Affumgab created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Affumgab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Affumgab, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Affumgab's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Affumgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never look at black holes.