Begyartfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, astonishing parrot.

Begyartfeb created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Begyartfeb, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Begyartfeb, she will be very unhappy.

Begyartfeb's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Begyartfeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Begyartfeb must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never leap in the presence of frogs.

4. Never talk about dark matter near badgers while wearing purple shirts and balancing nine gold spheres on your head.

5. Never feed gooseberries to dolphins while wearing stockings.