Bemhennurl is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, all-powerful snail.

Bemhennurl created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bemhennurl, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bemhennurl, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bemhennurl's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bemhennurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never stain your legs with fawn.

3. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

4. Never gather five cats near wells.

5. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.