Pogmabarf is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic shrew.

Pogmabarf created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogmabarf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pogmabarf, he will turn you into a rock.

Pogmabarf's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pogmabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing indigo trousers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Pogmabarf loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not cook food in pots.