Jabstipdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic crab.

Jabstipdiss created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Jabstipdiss, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabstipdiss, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jabstipdiss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Jabstipdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never allow frogs to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.