Padlannat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless cow.

Padlannat created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padlannat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Padlannat, he will turn you into a dog.

Padlannat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Padlannat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never paint your back gray.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.