Lakwik is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, almighty turtle.

Lakwik created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakwik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lakwik, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Lakwik's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lakwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing east.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about nebulae.