Flapnellhom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, smart crane.

Flapnellhom created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapnellhom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapnellhom, she will try to impress you with trees.

Flapnellhom's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flapnellhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not chant in public.