Hitsitfab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate armadillo.

Hitsitfab created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitsitfab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hitsitfab, she will throw large rocks at you.

Hitsitfab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hitsitfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

2. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

3. Do not hurt tapirs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never mark doors with red.