Yarpgemsug is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, slow butterfly.

Yarpgemsug created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgemsug, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarpgemsug, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarpgemsug's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Yarpgemsug's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.