Fligbuttonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, stupid hamster.

Fligbuttonk created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligbuttonk, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fligbuttonk, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fligbuttonk's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fligbuttonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fligbuttonk.

2. Fligbuttonk loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Do not keep six sharks in a large pit.

5. Always wear magenta.