Cepjopsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous eagle.

Cepjopsaf created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Cepjopsaf, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cepjopsaf, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Cepjopsaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cepjopsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never feed onions to badgers while wearing hats.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.