Nurtfunrow is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful troll.

Nurtfunrow created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtfunrow, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurtfunrow, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurtfunrow's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Nurtfunrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Never wear brown ear rings on sacred days.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never cross rivers at midnight.

5. Never look in ponds.