Stafmetmat is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring dragon.

Stafmetmat created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmetmat, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Stafmetmat, she will boil you in a big pot.

Stafmetmat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Stafmetmat's Holy Commandments

1. Stafmetmat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Run away from green sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.