Talruttsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, boastful bird.

Talruttsaw created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talruttsaw, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Talruttsaw, he will turn you into a rock.

Talruttsaw's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Talruttsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt whales.

3. Talruttsaw must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never sing near sharks.