Kempignel Gudflamyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless hippopotamus.

Kempignel Gudflamyatt created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kempignel Gudflamyatt, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kempignel Gudflamyatt, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kempignel Gudflamyatt's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kempignel Gudflamyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Kempignel Gudflamyatt loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Never run in the presence of ducks.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never paint your legs indigo.