Wikartwig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, confident jackal.

Wikartwig created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikartwig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wikartwig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Wikartwig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Wikartwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near badgers while wearing violet stockings and balancing three titanium spheres on your chest.