Fossnutgem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy faun.

Fossnutgem created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossnutgem, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fossnutgem, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fossnutgem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fossnutgem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Fossnutgem on top of all buildings.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.