Bigstragbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, passionate turtle.

Bigstragbiss created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigstragbiss, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bigstragbiss, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bigstragbiss' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bigstragbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Never think ill of sick snakes.