Jadquillbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless manatee.

Jadquillbif created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Jadquillbif, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jadquillbif, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Jadquillbif's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jadquillbif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.