Tonklargnak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless penguin.

Tonklargnak created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Tonklargnak, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonklargnak, he will not care.

Tonklargnak's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tonklargnak's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never paint your face mauve.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Tonklargnak on top of all buildings.