Xuckbigbogzak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered hyena.

Xuckbigbogzak created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbigbogzak, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckbigbogzak, she will send you a sign.

Xuckbigbogzak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Xuckbigbogzak's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Xuckbigbogzak loves moths, so they must be respected.

4. Never travel toward the west during winter.

5. Xuckbigbogzak must be the most important thing in your life.