Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic squirrel.

Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap, he will ignore you.

Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about gravity near frogs while wearing green kilts and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

4. Worship no other gods but Bepbitlop Cutmobnarwap.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.