Larn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Larn created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Larn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Larn, it will not care.

Larn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Larn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Do not eat strawberries.

5. Worship no other gods but Larn.