Fatlamjin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest bee.

Fatlamjin created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatlamjin, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fatlamjin, it will strike you with lightening.

Fatlamjin's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fatlamjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing indigo hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never point your legs toward the north during prayer.