Saggumstaf Honpombonk is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful porpoise.

Saggumstaf Honpombonk created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Saggumstaf Honpombonk, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Saggumstaf Honpombonk, it will torture you forever.

Saggumstaf Honpombonk's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Saggumstaf Honpombonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to foxes while wearing pink coats.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to cats while wearing orange kilts.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.