Gunkadpomdan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, clever seal.

Gunkadpomdan created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunkadpomdan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gunkadpomdan, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gunkadpomdan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gunkadpomdan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the west.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never paint your face yellow.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gunkadpomdan.

5. Never play with disobedient children.