Nilldongig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, capable whale.

Nilldongig created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilldongig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nilldongig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nilldongig's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nilldongig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Put Nilldongig first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.