Bafnurlfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful lobster.

Bafnurlfarn created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafnurlfarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bafnurlfarn, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bafnurlfarn's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bafnurlfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Bafnurlfarn on top of all buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bafnurlfarn.