Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate manatee.

Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart, she will not care.

Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lanbanbarn Lapyakhadnurtkiplargdidnart's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Never paint your feet orange.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.