Nellcadcen is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, effective beaver.

Nellcadcen created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellcadcen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nellcadcen, he will turn you into a rat.

Nellcadcen's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nellcadcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must pray to Nellcadcen nine times a day.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near cats while wearing violet jumpers and balancing seven tin spheres on your face.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.